We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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