So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
