gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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