if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
