My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
