I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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