okay pat passed out under dana's car
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
