OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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