We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
