Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
