ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
40s are totally the cure
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
