ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
