the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
false alarm, still single
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