i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
