So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
