is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
