So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize