You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
