Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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