so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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