It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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