i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
