i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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