yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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