I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
