8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
