My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize