he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
