so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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