Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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