we made out on top of his cat.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
