And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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