OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize