whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize