forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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