I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
