i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
