All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
