i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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