Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Small penises have feelings too.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
