What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
