dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
