dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
