I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
