He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
