More tranny stories later!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
