this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So much rum. So many feels.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
