Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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