Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
