I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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