a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
