so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
