There is no way he is gay with that hair.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
