bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
