but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
