I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
