just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
