I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
