Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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