bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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