Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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