why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
