all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
