Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
