so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
